New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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