Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
