FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
