I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
