Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
