Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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