it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
