he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
