You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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