sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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