Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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