The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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