i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
