i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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