at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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