Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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