I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
