After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
