Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
