i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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