I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
