I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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