Already got asked if we're dating
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
