He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
