Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
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