I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
