He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
