Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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