so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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