You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
