so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am available for nakedness
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
