A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
