remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i out mim tonsoeep
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