i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
