when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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