You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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