It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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