I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
