I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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