I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Hippo gnu deer
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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