Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
