I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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