Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
