If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
