there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
