I cockslap morals
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
