you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
