hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize