That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize