I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
