so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
