Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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