that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
