I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
