i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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