I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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