wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
