yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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