1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
